The other person is not temporary, and for some reason insists on creating more tension and conflict between us than there already is. Fortunately, I don't have to work with her very often-but when I do there's always a very thick and obvious tension because she knows I'm not very fond of her. Any other person would just get over it, realize you can't please/be friends with everyone and move on (which I am more than willing to do). She is obviously unfamiliar with this concept...
I had contradictory views on conflict and how to deal with it as a kid. My dad always taught us to be the bigger person and live and let live while my mom tried to teach us to stick up for and defend ourselves if and whenever possible using logic and strong word choice.
I had the unlucky chance of working with her recently and, as history is doomed to repeat itself, she confronted me-more like cornered me in a small room; about why I don't like her/don't want to be her friend/am not nice to her, blah blah blah. But this time, she told me she heard why, and was equipped with surprisingly accurate information. Lucky for her that we share friends and acquaintances in what has suddenly become a much smaller place to me. Anyway, while she was cornering and berating me with stupid and obscure questions and excuses, the only thing I kept thinking is, "Seriously, who cares? Why do you care so much? What difference does it make what I think of you?" And still, I don't get it.
I love and completely agree with this quote. Having friends is great; especially if you have several different types of friends and personalities and ideas to surround yourself with. I'll be the absolute first person to admit how awesome having friends is. I don't know where or who I would be or what I would do had it not been for my friends, past and present. But enemies... having enemies is great too. It teaches you that not everyone is going to think the sun shines out your ass, laugh at your jokes or even agree with you on most anything. It's a crucial lesson to anyone. The point of being human and having a free will is that you're entitled to your beliefs and opinions as much as anyone else, and that basic principle is a recipe for disaster; making mistakes, climbing hurdles, growing up and moving on. Why would you want to be friends with everyone you meet anyway? That seems exhausting...and pointless...
I've wasted whatever time and energy against my will in a stupid confrontation that didn't even accomplish anything. So now I've decided to take dad's advice; if and when she confronts me again, I'm not going to answer her. I'm not even going to look at her. What's the point in trying to defend myself against someone who so vehemently and ignorantly believes that she's right and didn't do anything wrong: the very base of this exact conflict... Messy, cyclical, laughable. There's no point. She's never going to believe what I'm saying even happened, let alone has any merit. So I'm gonna let her have her flawless fantasy, and not even give her the time of day.
I can't speak for the possibility in the distant future if I have to resort to involving management, but let's hope that she somehow acquires the ability to take a hint and grow up...
