It's not that I don't enjoy a good discussion with an idiot every once in a while...obviously it has its pros and cons, it's just I actually value my time (I know-the irony, right?). But it always opens your eyes to the fact that just when you think you're at your lowest point, there's always further rungs on the ladder of humanity you can sink to. And since this is my blog, which I'm not going to delete any time soon, I am going to monitor and protect it a little better. I am going to continue to post to it-and whether that's one post a day forever or the next post not coming about for another 6 months is something I can't decide and quite frankly, is no ones fucking business. That goes for the subject matter of the posts as well: happy/sad, celebratory/whiny, good/bad/ugly, etc. I'm entitled to write whatever I want and to make this decision and whatever measures I need to for it to happen. And I don't have to consider anyone or their feelings. I'm not apologizing for the things I said or even the way I said them. The only thing at this point I can think of that I should apologize for is that this happened, that I didn't do this from the beginning and that I let the opinions of some loser corrupt and taint my blog (that I don't really even use anymore). I knew when I started this blog about a year ago that there was potential for this to happen; That some dumb, shallow, egotistical termite would find it and make rude, pitiful observations about it and me as if he knew everything there was to know because he or she took the time to read a handful of my posts. I'm sure that type of thinking will take someone far, but I can only make this observation from the disgusting comments left by someone of this variety... Pride is a dangerous mechanism of the human psyche, so it goes.
I knew that it was a valid possibility, I just didn't care. I don't care what anyone thinks of me, especially some shallow, pathetic stranger on the Internet. If I did, the blog wouldn't exist and quite frankly my very existence would be questionable. It's people like this that are the reason suicide and depression are epidemics as a result of bullying and at the end of the day it's just sad. And you can sit there with your bs excuses and say you're the "strongest and fittest of the species" because you're an asshole, but to me, showing compassion and empathy and even offering to help anyone makes you stronger to the moon and back by comparison. It's sad there are people out there who think they're the prime specimens of society yet all they do is waste their lives on the Internet trolling blogs and criticizing and tearing them and their authors down. You read something that's really personal to someone and just because it doesn't mean anything to you, your response is to say something about it that's really hurtful for no other reason that to inflate your already enormous ego, feel pathetically superior next to a complete stranger and not even move on after, but continue. I honestly can't decide which part of that series of events is the worst... I'm not sure what your motive is to bully a stranger on the Internet but if it has anything to do with thinking that what you say is going to affect someone you are arrogant and disgraceful and you should be ashamed of yourself. Obviously it's ironic that I've taken the time for just that, but you will never hear or read me tell anyone that they "should ask their parents for a postpartum abortion" or anything of the like. And that's the difference.
I might be out of shape (fat, as you put it-ill be the first person to admit it), and lead the not-so-glamorous life of a broke college student, but at least I have everything I need in the people around me: a sister who is everything and more that a sister and a best friend could be, a wonderful boyfriend who before and beyond anything is the best friend who tore down all my walls as if they weren't there at all and does more for me than anyone should, a roommate and best friend who pales all others by comparison, not to mention awesome parents, friends (including 2 more best friends), family, and co-workers. My life is about adventures. It's about being with the people around me for however long I'm privileged and making the most of my time. It may not seem like a lot to you but at the end of the day, you're not involved and your opinion is not warranted or even relevant, so f.o.d. Run along now, I'm sure that basement apartment in your parents house needs vacuuming and those people in the personal section on Craigslist are just dying to see a Photoshopped picture of you
Gasp! A picture I took on my road trip with my boyfriend this summer to meet his parents. Eat your heart out.
