As you might've guessed, I'm writing as a long-awaited return but also because I can't sleep yet again and I guess there's no time like the present and also not sleeping perpetuates itself when your head is full. I'm not sure how to go about conducting this return or what to talk about since I feel like there are so many things I could choose from while simultaneously feeling like there's nothing at all. I'll make a list.
1. Quinn. I adopted a dog six months ago and he's awesome. I could seriously start a blog just about him and his antics, so it's no surprise I picked him first on the list, there will be more about him. Count on it.
2. I "failed" my first college class. Alas it is true. The word failed is in quotation marks because really, I didn't fail the class, but I do have to retake it. Thank you meltdowns as a result of repressing feelings from the aforementioned events for months, mixing with stress from this very class. Even though it's my fault, which I will admit and take full responsibility, I also feel like sometimes college and its politics are really stupid and arguably only about wasting as much of your time and money as possible. Again, C'est la vie. Hopefully I can save money on books and be a master in this field (I try to be as "glass half full" as I can be).
2.5. If it hadn't been for this class and a teacher I was convinced hated me and I thought I hated back (turns out I learned on the last day of the semester she didn't hate me and I kinda like her back, she's cool), I would never have figured out the direction I think I want to take my degree: disaster relief/preparedness, FEMA?
3. I learned a lot about figuring out who you can trust and how no matter what you do or say, people have their own old habits and demons and there's nothing you can do about it even if you have the purest, best intentions and the most passionate drive to help someone, some people just can't be helped and it's not your fault. More grown up, more reserved, less apt/willing to help people. Forever jaded. C'est la vie.
4. I moved out of my parents house at the end of last summer. You'd never know it, I spend more and more of my time at my boyfriends house which is my latest internal struggle and one I've been dealing with for months that never ceases to be on my mind stressing me out. I cook. I'm remodeling a dresser and soon not one, but two rooms single-handedly in his house (blogs to come). I have not one, not two, but three drawers FULL of my stuff. I have my own tooth and hair brush that he gave/bought for me to have there. Yet, I pay rent to live somewhere else, and my roommate/best friend has told me on more than one occasion that she feels like a storage unit (and I honestly don't blame her). So, as I'm reminded in several aspects of my life, there is only one of me and I never know how to appease or what to do. Forever clueless. C'est la vie. (P.S: I WILL get C'est la vie tattooed on my body at some point. It is literally my life motto.)
5. I've developed an appreciation for young adult novels (I never thought I would say that) with the help of reading my new favorite book The Myth of You and Me and The Fault In Our Stars which has led me to other John Green novels.
As you can see, a lot of changes and growing up in the last several months, never a dull moment... A new creature/best friend who relies completely on me, yet I sometimes feel like I depend on him even more. Strides and falls in the progress of my degree. And my latest question; I know where I live and I know where my home is and there not always the same place, this is both freeing and disconcerting and extremely confusing and trying.
