(Probably) The most political post I'll write.

OK so I know my small opinion is not going to matter to very many people (if anyone), but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. So here goes: I find The Chick fil a controversy laughable. There, I said it.

At the end of the day, the First Amendment is there so that these situations can be brought up. And thank God for that. People have the right to say what they want despite whatever may come of it. 

 Despite the fact that I know that my opinion is going to be soon forgotten, I just want to say that I don't care what a person's sexuality is. I don't think it's fair to judge someone for something that's so deeply a part of them, it unchangeable. And by the same token, judging someone for who they are not only shows ignorance, but allows you to be judged as well. To me, the way I live my life and the decisions I make are no more anyone's business than it's my business who people want to marry or spend their spare time with in general. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you're a contributing member of society who isn't endangering anyone (namely small children), you could marry a rock if it's what you want. 

I grew up in Catholic school so I was taught the exact opposite of what I actually believe on most things. I was taught to believe in things that quite frankly, embarrass me today. Ignorance may be bliss but it's also a hindrance worse than blindness. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but it's how I feel. I'm not bashing anyone for their beliefs, I'm just saying there are always going to be people that do and say and believe things that you disagree with, it's part of life.

It's 2012 and people are getting upset because a Southern Baptist fast food chain that isn't even open on Sundays, shared a very predictable view on a controversial issue. They're probably pro-life too. I know, take a moment to get over your shock. It's too bad more CEOs don't come out and share their opinions so people can see the truth that obviously escapes them in their daily lives.

Despite my very strict and traditional upbringing, I haven't been to church in years, and I think the only thing that could make me go back is a funeral. I really don't think going to church makes you a good Christian, or even a good person. I stopped going because I had to separate myself from everything I wasn't anymore. I went to public school and felt my eyes open to the world around me and never wanted to live in a haze again. I don't consider myself to be a good person or a bad person for the things I've done or the decisions I've made. But I never felt closer to God or my faith (or whatever you want to call it) than when I was free to make my own decisions about it instead of having them shoved down my throat. 

If people want to boycott Chick fil a for being honest about their beliefs (something that is a tribute to their rights), that's their right as well and their business. But the judgement needs to stop. It's what's caused this problem from the beginning. You're telling me that you're mad at Chick-fil-a for expressing their views because it rivals yours? Seriously? It's just a never ending cycle of hypocrisy and judgement. At some point something's gotta give or we'll be in this same old barbaric trap forever.

7/20/12

It's taken me a few days to realize the gravity of what happened the night of July 20th, 2012.  Especially after aging my mom beyond anything else I've ever done: I went to that premiere but didn't tell her what theater I was at and she was watching tv as the story broke at 2:30 in the morning. It's a miracle she has her sanity and a full head of hair after worrying until 3:15 when I finally got back to my phone and returned her text and 8 missed calls. After getting off the phone and telling the friends I was with what happened, they texted/called their parents to let them know they were ok too and then we turned on the tv. A scene of terror and confusion met our eyes and overwhelmed us. The shock and nausea that followed seemed like a looming cloud for days.

I remember when Columbine happened but was too young to understand the true depth of it. Of course, I was old enough to understand when it was Virginia Tech, and found myself so interested in this particular phenomenon that I wrote a paper on it for my college English class. Even after all the research and the time I spent on that paper, I can honestly tell you I still don't understand why these things happen. It's completely unnecessary and senseless, and I'll never know what to say about it other than that it's a tragedy I can never pray enough that it never happens to me or someone I know or love.

It seems like no matter how tragic these things are they have an inexplicable way of bringing people and communities together. Not that this makes it acceptable or is supposed to be some sort of consolation. In all the hoping that something good would come of this, it seems like someone heard those prayers: Christian Bale visits victims of Aurora shooting, as well as the president's visit and the outpouring of support from around the city to the nurses, police officers and victims. 

As awful as shootings are, the human spirit has a way of mimicking a pheonix and rising out of the ashes and enduring. Hopefully the rest of the year gets better than the summer Colorado has had this year.

 

Here's something to make you laugh after the post that leaves me teary eyed and breathless:

 

BAT DOG!!!! 

AKA Bentley, the most adorable, grumpy-faced part of my summer.

 

Why am I the one

Recently, I had a confrontation with someone who I used to be very close to. And unexpectedly, right around the same time I discovered a new song that I find myself empathizing with wholeheartedly.

When I listen to this song, sometimes I feel like I'm the singer and then sometimes I feel like I'm the one the song is about. When I first heard it, it made me sad, but as I've listened to it more and more, it's made me realize that life is what you make it. Even though it's only been a week, I feel like had that awkward moment not happened, it would've taken me a lot longer to make this discovery. I wish I could thank the people that would otherwise be considered mistakes or wastes of time to make me and my life what it is today...

As my best friend's birthday approaches, I'm reminded of everything it took for her and I to still be best friends today. This song forces me to evaluate things the way they are now, and even though that seems to have a negative connotation to it, I promise it doesn't. I am so lucky to have a very good relationship with my sister, and two of the best friends anyone could ask for.

Despite everything that happened in the last year or so, I feel like I'm finally finding the way things should've been all along. And I have a feeling that while it's always subject to change, at least I know I have people who will support and understand me, even if it took a song, and a potentially negative moment to realize it.

"Or go on, go on, go on, if you were thinking that the worst is yet to come
Why am I the one always packing up my stuff
For once, for once, for once, I get the feeling that I'm right where I belong
Why am I the one always packing up my stuff"

A quiet July 4th, for good reason

I love the fourth of July. It's easily one of my favorite holidays, even as a kid it was a close second to Christmas and my birthday (which were naturally tied for first). It's a fantastic day in the middle of the summer filled with parades, barbeques and for us as kids, anything from sack races to carnival rides and of course lots and lots of fireworks. Even now as I type this I'm reminded of those sweet blissful childhood adventures on July 4th.  

This year, however, is going to be relatively quiet. We're not going to Nebraska or South Dakota to celebrate with family and all the wonderful things I listed above. And while I have a grocery bag (or two) hidden in my room and full of unused fireworks ready to go, I won't even be able to enjoy them because of the tragically devastating fires.

 

Trust me, if there's anyone who is bummed about a lack of pyrotechnics today, it's me. But it makes me sick to think that there are people praying they have a home to go to at the end of the day, every day for the nearly 3 weeks now, and people are complaining openly about not being able to light fireworks today. And this is only the Waldo Canyon fire in the pictures and video, there are about 10 others to worry about as well...

Incident	Type	Unit	Status	Acres	Updated
Pine Ridge	Wildfire	Grand Junction Field Office	Active	13920	07/04/12
Little Sand	Wildfire	San Juan National Forest	Active	24850	07/04/12
Waldo Canyon	Wildfire	Pike and San Isabel National Forests	Active	18247	07/04/12
Weber	Wildfire	San Juan National Forest	Active	10133	07/04/12
High Park	Wildfire	Arapaho & Roosevelt National Forests / Pawnee National Grassland	Active	87284	07/04/12
Treasure	Wildfire	Pike and San Isabel National Forests	Active	420	07/02/12
Lightner	Wildfire	San Juan Field Office	Active	90	07/01/12
Flagstaff	Wildfire	Colorado State Forest Service	Active	300	06/30/12
Springer	Wildfire	Pike and San Isabel National Forests	Active	1145	06/24/12
Sunrise Mine	Wildfire	Uncompahgre Field Office	Active	5742	06/07/12
Hewlett Fire	Wildfire	Arapaho & Roosevelt National Forests / Pawnee National Grassland	Active	7685	06/06/12

>>The information in this table was found here: http://www.inciweb.org/state/6/

I can't even imagine what it must be like to be told you're forced to evacuate your house because of a fire, and to grab the important things as fast as possible. I've thought about it a lot lately, but I still have no idea what I would grab... I know I would for sure get the quilt Lyla made me, the bear from my grandfather whose now deceased, and the bear that was my mom's as a child, the important papers I have in a portable chest, Oskar (my cat), my books and laptop, some clothes and maybe my keyboard and music if I could. But other than that... 

It's something I try not to spend too much time dwelling on, but with everything that's happened this summer, I really can't help it. I wish I could give a huge donation to the Red Cross for everything they're doing. And I really wish I could make the people who are upset about the lack of fireworks ogling find that there are other things that matter so much more than what happens after dark today. The fourth of July is meant to be a day of celebration for the freedom we have and a sense of patriotism, but to me, today should be an early Thanksgiving. 

Besides, fireworks can be easily replaced with the America's Funniest Home Videos marathon in your house, surrounded by the people you love. At least that's what I'm doing.